In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul addressed some things that the Corinthian Church questioned. He warned against sexual immorality in Chapter 6 but offered somewhat of a remedy to this problem for believers in this chapter. Paul stated, "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
Paul informs the church that in marriage, a woman's body is not her own but belongs to her husband and vice versa. He stated that husband and wife should only deprive themselves of one another if it is mutually agreed upon for a consecrated time of prayer and fasting. Paul advised that the couple should come together again after briefly abstaining from one another so that Satan will not tempt them due to a possible lack of self-control.
To the unmarried and widows, Paul admitted that he wished they would remain single just as he was, but if they lacked self-control, they should be married. "Better to marry than to burn with passion," Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 7:9. Paul's view on romantic relationships is not often considered by Christians today. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, love and marriage are usually presented to young girls at an early age. From the fairy-tale love stories told to little girls from the romantic movies we watch as adults, women are heavily influenced to desire love and marriage. This same influence does not appear to be placed upon our male counterparts.
Nevertheless, whether the desire for love and marriage is natural or influenced, the desire itself is not wrong. God created Eve for Adam because it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is also a beautiful reflection of Christ’s relationship with his bride—the church. Anyone who desires love and marriage desires a godly institution. So long as their desire does not exceed their desire for the Lord, their desire is not wrong.
However, Paul desired to live a life totally surrendered to God with no hindrances or distractions. Having a spouse would have interfered with his ministry and devotion to the Lord. Although it is not commonly believed even within Christian circles, the unmarried and widows are in a blessed position to commit themselves to God and his kingdom in ways married people cannot. Paul wrote that the unmarried can “serve the Lord without distraction” and that “He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Therefore, Paul thought it best to give all his time and energy to God and ministry rather than dividing it with a spouse. This type of decision is rarely made today. Most people desire love or marriage. But if they choose to be single or happen to be single, their lives are not typically dedicated to the Lord. Singles today usually live a life of self-centered indulgence or a life waiting in anticipation for a spouse and children.
Christians should do a better job of influencing each other and our youth to desire God over the things of the world—and that includes love and marriage. I’m reminded of how Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac. It was a test of his loyalty. Although having Isaac was a gift from God to Abraham, Abraham was tested to prove who was first in his life—God or Issac. Abraham chose God, but many believers today aspire to have God’s gifts over God himself.
For a modern-day application, if love and marriage are God’s gifts to us, then praise God for his blessing. However, we should never desire it or anything else over God. Otherwise, God’s blessings become our god, and idolatry is, of course, frowned upon. We should seek God first and let the other desires of our hearts come if the Lord sees fit.
However, as previously stated, the desire for marriage is not wrong. Married individuals are blessed with the God-given gift of marriage where they can safely “flee sexual immorality” and reflect Christ and his bride to others. Also, if God allows it, they can be fruitful and multiply by bearing children, and children are undoubtedly a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of a woman’s womb (Psalms 127:3).
But marriage comes at a cost. For one, as Paul states, it is a distraction from complete surrender to the Lord. But it is also a legally and spiritually binding covenant between God, man, and woman. If we view covenant agreements the same way God views them, we will understand how binding marriage is. Paul reminded the church that the Lord commands unity in marriage. A wife is not to leave her husband, nor is a husband to leave his wife. Paul wrote that even if a wife does depart from her husband, she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:11).
Paul made it clear that unity within marriage was a command from God and not merely an opinion, as was his stance on opting for singleness. He mentioned that if one spouse is a believer while the other spouse is an unbeliever, they should remain as one. They are bound to one another by law and are only free from one another if one spouse dies. I suppose because the Corinthian Church was newly established, questions of whether to remain in marriage with an unbeliever arose. But Paul answered all questions by affirming that marriage was a law-binding covenant never meant to be broken. Just as God never forsook his covenant with his people—even when they sinned against him—married couples are not to forsake one another … good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, the marriage covenant is binding until death.
The chapter continued with Paul emphasizing singleness for the unmarried and widows, if possible, and unity within marriage for the married. As a lesson for us all, whether single, married, divorced, or widowed, we must all seek God and his righteousness first. No spouse will ever fill the space in our hearts where God should be, and the absence of a spouse should never take away from our communion with God. True satisfaction will only come from the Lord and seeking his face daily. So, although Paul’s stance of singleness is not often adhered to, it is a stance that illustrates total surrender to God, and no matter what our relationship status is, a surrendered life to Christ is one that we should all strive to have.
So, regardless of our desire for love, marriage, children, success, or whatever else may lay within our hearts, may we seek God first. God’s gifts are astoundingly beautiful, but his presence in our lives is even more so divine. May we all live a consecrated life to the Lord to the best of our abilities, and may we be satisfied with God and however he chooses to bless us. May God bless and keep you.
Quin Arrington is a wife, mother, and author with books available on Amazon at www.amazon.com/author/quinarrington
Thank you for your time. God Bless!
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