Gentleness (Philippians 4:1-5)

Hello, readers. Let’s briefly discuss Philippians 4:1-5 today. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore, my beloved and longed-for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved.” I can’t help but notice Paul’s multiple words of endearment. Beloved, longed-for, my joy and crown … Paul illustrates his heart posture towards the believers at Philippi, and it was a heart full of love and adoration.

Genuine love is hard to find, even amongst the Body of Christ. But may we pursue loving both God and man. May God help us grow in love in a way that will result in Him saying, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant’ on the last day. Because ultimately, if we don’t have love, we have nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2).

Paul goes on and asks for unity between two souls, Euodia and Syntchye. In verse two Paul writes, “Be of the same mind in the Lord.” This implies that Euodia and Syntchye were not of the same mind in the Lord. Conflicts between believers are inevitable. It is bound to happen at some point, just as a husband and a wife are bound to have disagreements occasionally.

Yet, when a husband and wife disagree, they are still expected to remain as one. They are one flesh, and neither spouse should want to stay in conflict if they desire to advance in a healthy marriage. Likewise, we are one body of believers. 1 Corinthians 12 mentions how one member of the body cannot be without the other, “… the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’; nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ (v.20) With this analogy of being one body, one can say the Body of Christ is one flesh, just as a husband and wife are one flesh.

Of course, there is a different type of love in the Body of Christ than in a marriage, but the idea of one flesh and one body is similar. Unity should be found in marriage, and unity should be found among believers. But as we see from Paul’s letter, conflict and divisions have existed in Christianity since its birth.

Yet, there are ways to resolve conflict. Matthew 18 tells us that if someone sins against us, we are to go to that person and discuss the problem. If they do not hear you out, you are to take one or two more witnesses to resolve the conflict. If they still will not bend, you are to take it to the church. But if they still will not hear the church, scripture says, “let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (v. 17). In other words, at that point, write them off. Rinse your hands of them and move on.

But before we attempt to resolve the conflict, we need to ensure we are approaching others in the correct spirit. Philippians 4:5 states, “Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.” Other variations of the Bible may say let your moderation be known, your reasonableness be known, or your forbearance be known. All of these terms are in relation to others. We are to be considerate and forbear one another—in other words, we are to be patient, tolerant, and exemplify self-control.

Gentleness is a way of life. It pours forth from us when we are stilled in the Spirit. There’s this thing that women are saying nowadays. They say they want to enter their ‘soft girl era’. Some women say they are looking for a man who will ease them into their femininity. They desire a man they can rely on so confidently that they can relax and be the soft woman that they were created to be. They can remove their hardened and possibly masculine exterior and rest in gentleness because they feel safe to do so … because of the love, reliability, and strength of a dependable man.

What these women desire is what we have in Christ. Gentleness comes from trust in the Lord. When you believe that God is trustworthy, your spirit stills within you. You inherit a gentle, quiet, still spirit because God’s dependability puts you at ease. You can rest in Him, you can be soft in Him because of His enduring love and unmatched strength. Gentleness settles within you when your trust increases.

Yet, gentleness is not to be confused with kindness. They are extremely close in meaning, so much so that they are often used as synonyms. But there is a slight difference between the two. Possessing both kindness and gentleness may indicate that someone is a man or woman of God. However, you can be kind without being gentle.

Gentleness is when we have a mild, non-aggressive temperament, but kindness displays generosity. For example, if you feed a stranger on the street, you have shown kindness. Yet, if you give reluctantly or arrogantly, then you have displayed kindness without gentleness.

Typically, when we say someone has a kind soul, it is because of what they have done. It’s because they are generous. It is kind to give to others, and to help the sick, poor, and needy, but it’s not necessarily gentle. If you give someone a gift, they may say, ‘How kind of you!’, not ‘How gentle of you!’ They’ll say this because kindness is normally shown by deeds (hence the phrase acts of kindness). Yet, it is also true that sometimes we will profess that someone has a kind soul without necessarily witnessing an act of kindness.

Sometimes, there is just something about an individual's aura that gives us the impression that they are a kind, sweet soul. And of course, it is essential to be kind as a Christian. We are called to both perform acts of kindness and to be kind-souled people.

But gentleness is more so associated with someone’s way of being. No one ever deems a person gentle by what they do, but rather by how they carry themselves. Yes, a person may gently perform a task or gently speak a word. But they do so because they have a gentle spirit. A gentle soul can be sensed without them giving a dime or opening their mouth. A gentle spirit can be felt with just a warm smile. Kindness is typically more about what you do, but gentleness is about who you are.

Paul recommended that the Philippians let their gentleness be known to all men because the Lord was at hand. He’s still at hand, which means He’s on His way back. But if we have not been gentle or considerate towards others, how can we expect to go with Him?

So, let’s be kind, but let's also be gentle. May we enter softness with God by trusting Him more. The more we trust God, the more at ease we become. And when we are at ease, our spirit relaxes. As we rest in God, we can be soft and gentle towards others because we have found peace within due to relying on God.

And so, reader, I encourage you to practice gentleness. May God instill a quiet, confident, gentle spirit within us all … a beautiful spirit that can be felt by all—His Holy Spirit, that will lead us into all things good.

That’s all I have for you today. I pray God will bless and keep you. Until next time, take care.

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Thank you for reading this week's Write On! Wednesday word. Check out the Now, That's a Word! YouTube Channel here: https://YouTube.com/@nowthatsaword

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With love,

Quin Arrington