I am in awe of God. I remember driving home after work—giving God my petition when either my flesh or the devil said mid-prayer “it’s not possible.” My prayer was the same prayer that I’d prayed nearly four years ago. And the answer to the prayer then was “no”.
Since the answer was “no” then, I was nervous that it might be a “no” again, especially since I didn’t see how the prayer was going to be answered. But the Holy Spirit urged me to pray anyway. So, I did. And my God! I am standing in that answered prayer in awe of God.
The prayer was to be a stay-at-home-mom. Four years ago when I gave birth to my first child, I asked God to allow me to be a SAHM. I begged God, pleaded God to answer my prayer. I hated the thought of sending my infant to daycare. My intestines tightened at the thought of it. My anxiety shot through the roof considering it.
I even asked God if He wouldn’t let me be a SAHM to at least arrange for a close family member or friend to watch my sweet girl. But as it turned out, the answer to the prayer was “no”. And I just couldn’t believe God.
Why won’t you allow me to take care of my own child? Am I not the best option for her? Didn’t He see my agony? Didn’t He see how much I wanted this? How could He deny me like that?
These thoughts, amongst others, flooded my mind as I reluctantly prepared to send my child to daycare. Being a SAHM just wasn’t feasible at the time. We could’ve winged losing my income, but losing family healthcare coverage was out of the question. My husband’s job did not offer family coverage, so we didn’t have much of a choice. I had to return to work and my daughter had to attend daycare.
Eventually, the thought of daycare wasn’t that much of a nightmare. And although I had become accustomed to daycare, the lingering desire to be a SAHM remained. Then came the 2020 pandemic, which intensified that desire.
For roughly two months, I was able to sample what being a SAHM would be like outside of maternity leave.... and it tasted like honey. My heart began to once again long for the prayer that God said no to. Yet, I decided to put the request before Him again.
I thought this time may be different because He had given me my purpose. He directed me to this writing ministry. So, I thought it would be perfect if He released me from my job and allowed me to work in this ministry and take care of my child and home. Besides, Psalms 37 says He’ll give us the desire of our hearts if we delight in Him.
And God knows I had never delighted in Him the way I did in 2020 and beyond. The time I spent with God before the sun rose, my isolation with Him in fasting, my conversations with Him in the car (or anywhere I could have alone time with Him), my devotion to write for Him and only Him … my delight was undeniably in Him.
So, I continued to pray to Him. But admittedly as days turned to weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, frustration settled in. My heart became sick as my dream, as my hope was deferred (Proverbs 13:12). Nearly every day as I made the walk from my car to my place of employment, I wondered when God would answer me—if He would answer me…
Then in March of 2022, I discovered I was pregnant again. Thoughts of how it felt to initially send my daughter to daycare emerged. My intestines began to tighten again. I didn’t want to go through those rollercoasters of emotions once more. I didn’t want God to deny me again.
So, I prayed. In fact, over the course of my pregnancy, I began to pray differently. I felt as if God was showing me how to pray for what I wanted through two ministers. One preacher told the congregation to pray consistently like the persistent widow in Luke 18—to pray every day—a couple times a day. I thought asking God for something more than one time a day was a bit excessive. Yet, I began to pray as the preacher suggested.
Then another preacher piggybacked off his message the following week. He told the congregation to pray boldly. To remind God that you are His chosen. To remind God of His promises in His holy word… promises like Psalms 37. Again, the way the preacher suggested we pray seemed a bit audacious. Yet, I consented and began to pray in the manner that these preachers suggested.
I prayed and I prayed but as my pregnancy progressed, I didn’t see a way out. We needed the healthcare. We needed the income. “It doesn’t make sense to subtract a job and add a baby, Quintella. You need healthcare for you and the children. Where do you think the coverage is going to come from? You asked God to do this before and He said no. Be realistic. It’s not going to happen.”
All these thoughts took over my prayer as I drove home that day. I almost stopped praying because my prayer seemed illogical—was illogical. But the Holy Spirit urged me to keep praying. And I did.
I admit that I was still worried. Worried not only that my prayer wouldn’t be answered, but also worried as to how I would feel about God if He said no again. I didn’t want to be disappointed again. I didn’t want to feel like a hypocrite—telling my readers to believe in God and in the power of prayer if God wasn’t answering mine.
But despite my doubts, I decided to keep praying. And one day, my husband called and told me that an amazing opportunity was presented to him. An opportunity that he desired for years—to be a franchise owner. Previously, we could not afford the franchise fee, but this time around, God made it feasible.
Yet healthcare coverage was still an issue… but not for long. When I was around 8 months pregnant, my husband received another call informing him that the company would be taken over and family healthcare would be offered…
I was in awe. My prayer was answered just like that. These guys came and took over the company and offered healthcare just like that. An insanely affordable opportunity to buy a franchise came to my husband just like that.
Everything started to shift and move for us all of a sudden. It happened quickly. In fact, although I had prayed for years to be a SAHM, I was hesitant to submit my resignation letter. I was slow to submit the same resignation letter that I wrote in 2020 because the answered prayer seemed unreal.
I couldn’t believe that God had moved and moved so fast. The opportunities and changes that answered my prayer came out of nowhere. Yet, it came just like He said it would. When I began to doubt if God would answer my prayer, He led me to read my own article that I wrote over a year ago. I was led to read “It Is a Light Thing”. In that article, I referenced this text:
For this is what the LORD says: You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink.
2 King 3:17 NIV
My God! He was telling me that I won’t see how it’s going to happen, but it will happen. Praise break.
Didn’t my God do it! Am I not at home at this very second typing to you with my child in my arms as a SAHM? Are tears not flowing from my eyes at how faithful He is? He answered my prayer! And this is only the beginning! He’s about to do so much more, not because I am so good, but because He is. Because He loves me regardless of me. Mercy God! Hallelujah!
This article has been long enough. I thank you for reading it if you are still with me. I just had to give you my testimony. Being a SAHM isn’t the easiest task in the world, especially with a newborn. I knew this before I prayed for it. Answered prayers usually come with responsibility, and answered prayers can be trying.
But an answered prayer is an answered prayer! And I am here to tell you that God does answer prayers. God does not lie and if you delight yourselves in Him and if you commit your ways to Him, He will give you the desire of your heart. So, essentially, His answer wasn’t “no”. It was “not yet” 😊. His timing is perfect. Delayed, but not denied as they say.
I advise you to petition God, persistently and daily just as He guided me to do (ain't it amazing how God sent men of God to tell me how to pray and then He turned around and answered the prayer!) But don’t forget to delight in Him. Commit your life, your ways, and your work to Him. Read the Word, fast, worship, sing and pray! Dive headfirst into God and don’t let up on praying.
Even if you tell yourself that you should stop praying, don’t you stop. Even if your prayer is illogical and impossible, keep praying. As God told me, “it is a light thing”. Whatever you are asking God for is a light thing to Him. It may be hard for you, but it is light to Him. Try Him. I dare you. Try Him and see if He won’t move people and situations around just for you.
He’s a mighty good God, and I had to tell you that today. I should’ve told you weeks ago, but I was still in awe, soaking the answered prayer in. I pray that if it is the Lord’s will and if it is the right timing, that you too will sit in awe at God’s answered prayer before this year is complete. Amen?
I bid you adieu, reader. ‘Till next time, be blessed! Take care.
Quin Arrington's literary works are available on Amazon at www.amazon.com/author/quinarrington