I used to hate my job. No, I used to loathe my job. I would have anxiety on the interstate every morning as I drove to work with just the thought of how stressful my day could be. My shift started at 8:00 a.m. At 8:00 a.m. on the dot, sometimes a little earlier, there would be 30 to 40 pair of clients’ eyeballs on me. If their eyes could talk it would say…well, this is a Christian article, so I can’t be literal… but it would be in the nature of “Girl, hurry up! We ain’t got all day! I need assistance now! Fix my problem, NOW!”.
I was the face to their problem. If the agency was at war, I was their bullet proof jacket. The job was so overwhelming I recall crying one night in bed dreading of having to wake up in the morning to do it all over again. I am not a sensitive person and I don’t take everything personally. In fact, I am usually nonchalant but that job could drive anyone to drink, heavily. Some days the wrath of the clients and their ugly words and ways didn’t faze me. Other times my body temperature would rise and I could feel my face getting hot as I considered if it was worth losing my job to give everyone with an attitude a piece of my mind.
The job search process was in full swing. I refused to work another year in emotionally draining chaos. It started to effect my mood at home. I griped and complained to my husband so much that his ears probably quivered in fear once I came through the door after work. I was on the edge. Either I would find another job or I would quit. Those were my only options. I prayed and prayed but nothing seemed to be moving in my favor. I grew tired of reading “unfortunately, we chose another candidate” from potential employers. I began to think I just wasn’t good at interviews.
Since I was still in the trenches at my job, I knew I had to do something to keep me afloat under the stress. I begin to play gospel music at a very low volume at my desk. It helped tremendously. I would even hear some of my co-workers humming along to some of the tunes when they came up to speak or gather paperwork. I accepted that as a silver lining in the mist of my tumult. Yet, I didn’t understand why God wasn’t moving for me.
Frustration settled in. I remember going on one particular interview that I thought went well. I was devastated when I didn’t get the position. After being denied, the same interviewer visited my job while he was on an assignment. I thought, well…this is going to be awkward. As we exchanged pleasantries, he mentioned that I was his top pick but they had to promote from within. He said that if anything else came up, he would be in touch. Blah! I figured he was just being nice to save me from embarrassment. If they wanted me, they would have hired me. Simple. I wrote him off and kept applying for jobs.
Then… I became pregnant. I wasn’t disappointment with the pregnancy but it made me lose all hope of anyone hiring me. FMLA requires employees to work a minimum of 12 months to guarantee job security after maternity leave. With pregnancy lasting 9 months, I would be at least 3 months shy from qualifying for leave if someone hired me. Furthermore, being a new employee would mean no accumulated annual or sick leave. I needed leave for doctor appointments and sick days… Lord, knows I needed those sick days based on the frequency my breakfast, lunch, and dinner came back up.
On top of my hopelessness of new employment, I feared the stress of my job could cause me to miscarry. That was something I absolutely did not want to risk. Yet, I needed health insurance. My husband’s job only offered individual plans. The thought of hospital costs for giving birth without insurance was just as overwhelming as the stress of my job. However, the safety of my unborn child was priority. I decided I was going to quit my job and deal with the burden of health insurance later. With my back against the wall in a lose-lose situation, I turned to God one more time.
I prayed, “God, there’s no way I can get out of this and win… It’s a Catch 22 situation. Only you can fix this, Please fix this!”
Remember the interviewer who said he would give me a call if anything came up? Well, he kept his word. He had a position available and contacted me to fill it. Yet, I was fearful that he wouldn’t want to hire a pregnant woman. I told him about my condition and he said it wasn’t a problem. The position was a transfer within the same agency so I could keep my accumulated leave and take FMLA. Everything was working in my favor!
Until he hit me with one request. He said the position is yours if your director approves it. My heart sank. I heard stories that the director wasn’t too keen on allowing workers to transfer out of the agency. Some co-workers said she would block you like a center blocks a 2 point-shot in the NBA. I was so close to having exactly what I needed! I began to wonder why God would get my hopes up just to have them come crashing down…
Then I had a change of heart. I said nah, I don’t believe God would dangle a blessing in my face and snatch it back. So, I prayed again. I requested a meeting with the director to ask for a transfer. Mind you, I worked the dreaded front-desk — the dismal position that no one dared fill. There was one other worker who worked the window along side me but I was the reigning full -time champ. The chances of her approving the transfer looked bleak. Yet when I nervously sat in the chair across from her and asked for the transfer, she reluctantly approved it.
God answered my prayer. I was able to keep my health insurance, accumulated leave, and gained a stress-free job. God did it all for me. I didn’t even submit an application or have a job interview. Many co-workers and even a few supervisors asked me how I did it. I told them I didn’t do anything, it was God. They seemed disappointed in my answer. As if I was withholding the true reason on how I did it. I still giggle at it today. Some people can’t handle the truth of God’s goodness. They can’t handle the TRUTH!!! God’s favor over your life will leave some people confused!
In retrospect, I understand why God waited to answer my prayer. If I would have found a job prior to my pregnancy, I may have thought my charm and resume aided in the new employment. I would have thought God and I landed the job. He intentionally waited until all odds were stacked against me to show me that it was Him and Him alone that helped me in my despair. Sometimes we incorrectly pat ourselves or others on the back for God’s handy work.
I also thank God for keeping me from leaving the agency prior to my pregnancy. If I would have started a new job and became pregnant after being newly hired, I would have been jobless after my pregnancy due to the lack of FMLA. I didn’t understand at the time but His delay was for my protection. It was for my good. He wasn’t saying no… He was saying not yet. Every detail was customized to my needs. Romans 8:28 rings so true in this situation.
Romans 8:28 King James Version (KJV) 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Amen. If your back is against the wall with no where to turn, then you are in the perfect position for God to demonstrate His authority. It’s perfect timing for an illustration of why He is the Great I AM. I-M-possible translates to I’M-possible with God aiding you. Catch 22 situations are the perfect stage for custom-made deliveries designed just for you. My deliverance from my old job would have been generic if done by my own hands. God’s Catch 22 delivery was personalized specifically for me — neatly wrapped in a perfect, pristine box. I wonder what your Catch 22 delivery will be?