Every time I write to you, I write to myself. Every time I encourage you, I am encouraging myself. Don't ever think I am writing these articles and not feeling the weight of life. On this very day (Tuesday, 2/16/2021), I lost my auntie. I believed with all my heart that she would be healed. I believed that God would turn it around for her. The doctor's report meant nothing to me because I knew the power of God.
But this morning, she passed. This morning I cried a gut-wrenching cry. This morning, I tried to change my baby's diaper but I couldn't. The tears blinded my vision. My heart was crumbling, and I didn't want her to see me in a broken state. So, I called for my husband to finish what I couldn't.
As I headed to the bathroom to let my heart cry, a plethora of emotions ran through me. I thought of how I would never see her again. I thought of the playful, yet annoying way she would pop me (and everyone else) on the back of our heads. I thought about the pain my uncle and cousin must be in. I wondered why God didn't move on our behalf, as we all prayed consistently for her. Even as I witnessed seeing her yesterday... seeing how bleak it looked for her, I chose to believe God would do the impossible. I had faith that God would fully restore her. But this morning, she passed.
But you know what also occurred this morning? This morning I read Philippians 4. After I read it, I made the following post:
And this is the caption I created for the post:
Umm, this is the one right here.
This is one of the hardest scriptures to apply to our lives... to be content no matter our circumstances.
If we are broke, to be content.
If we are sick, to be content.
If we are struggling, to be content.
It's a hard thing to do... nearly impossible.
Right after this verse the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".
With Christ we can do ALL things... not just glow and abound in favor, but to also walk in contentment when life is anything but favorable.
Let's allow Christ to make us content. We have tried to make ourselves content and have failed miserably. 😩
We have failed because we are not qualified for the job. We are trying to do the work of a God. We are trying to do Christ's job.
Paul only found contentment because he found Christ. The same is true for us. Let's stop trying to make ourselves content. It's simply a job we can't do on our own...
But with God 🙏🏾 all things are possible. With God, we can be content in all situations, including the unfavorable ones ✨
While I was creating this post, my mom was trying to contact me to inform me that my auntie had passed away. I always put my phone on "Do Not Disturb" mode when I am reading the Word or making posts about the Word to avoid distractions... and this piece of news truly shocked me. But the scripture that rang true before I received the bad news is the same scripture that rings true after the bad news.
Although I have cried while composing this article, God will provide contentment. My family and I will be comforted in our time of bereavement, not by our strength, but by Christ's. We can do all things through Christ, including working through this grief that has fallen upon us.
She will be missed, and our family gatherings will never be quite the same again. While I prayed for her health to be restored, I am content with God's decision. While my heart breaks for my uncle, cousin, and close family, I say "Amen" to God's will. I do this because I am learning day by day to be content in whatever state I am in. Though it seems impossible to find contentment in mourning, nothing is impossible with God. Remember this in your time of grieve.
Pray for my family, as I pray for yours.
In loving memory of Jessie McCord Russell